You pour cornflakes into the breakfast bowl instead of Weetabix. This is enough to set off the first whiney whinge, evolving into crying and accelerating into a full raging temper tantrum. The next half an hour is then spent reasoning, coaxing, diverting, bribing or just ignoring. Anything to put an end to the little red faced person standing before you screaming (oh – and the baby joins in just for good measure).
Our son, bless his little Spiderman socks, is a professional ‘Temper Tantrumist’. Being three, he has got it down to a fine art, having practised hard at it for the past year. I find myself thinking ahead to potential hazards. Have we got the right wellies with us, are the crusts cut off his toast? Ridiculous I know, but faced with a tantrum, I will do whatever it takes to fend them off.
The worst is the public Temper Tantrum. Lying on the floor rigid and screaming at full volume to attract the most attention possible. Most spectators look on either sympathetically or disapprovingly. However, we all suspect they are thinking that we can’t control our child. To our relief we recently saw someone else’s child having a major tantrum in public, to which my husband turned around excitedly and cried out, “Bring it on.”
On one tantrum occasion, someone said, “You need to consult Super Nanny.” Horrified at the thought that I was considered a totally inadequate mother, I took their advice and watched the programme. It featured children (and parents) at their very worst. Our family seemed angelic. However, it did prompt us to introduce ‘The Naughty Step’. You place the child on a step, to reflect on its behaviour for a minute for each year of its life (three minutes for a three year old etc). More often than not, our children promptly got straight off it. I see there are now even mobile naughty mats, which you can use in public places. So you could soon find yourself dodging children parked on little mats in the aisles of supermarkets.
We will continue to ride the wave of temper tantrums, and as for Super Nanny’s advice, I have decided to place myself on the naughty step for 33 minutes of my 33 years and reflect on my behaviour, preferably with a large glass of Chablis in my hand.
