The preparation for a family walk in our house goes something like this. Wellies on, coats on, hats, gloves (usually one missing) and scarves in winter, sun hats and sun tan lotion in summer. Baby in the back pack, dog on the lead, mini ruck-sack over the shoulder with a few emergency rations, not forgetting the essential bribe in the form of a small box of Smarties. Then there are the never ending ridiculous questions. “Can I take my doll’s pram?” “Can I take my ride-on motorbike?” All totally banned, of course, as we all know who will be carrying them after five minutes, along with the coats, hats and any ‘must-have’ sticks or leaves we discover on our walk.
We are finally on our way and things are looking promising. The sun is shining, the children are scampering ahead beside the dog. Once through the first field, the scampering turns into ‘lagging’. “My legs are tired,” cries the three-year-old. “Are we nearly there?” says the five-year-old. We attempt to encourage them with cows in the next field, a little wood where we can play cowboys and indians, some puddles which we can jump in, a lolly when we get home. From a distance, we look like the perfect family scene, but the reality is we have two whinging children, a dog who was so fed up with the slow pace that she has run off rabbiting, and the baby has been sick on my husband’s collar.
However, like true Brits, we stroll on with my husband refusing to be defeated. Whilst I carry all the coats, bag and hats, he has become a pack horse. He now has the baby on his back and a child on each hip – a truly memorable sight. We see a few friends in the distance waving cheerily at us and wave back trying to disguise the look of utter dispair and discomfort across our faces. We re-load and I take one child and he takes the other two and we drag ourselves through the final field. The dog bounds back, having rolled in something particularly potent. We walk back into the kitchen, unload children and collapse on the sofa unable to speak. Our son turns to us and says, “That was really fun. Can we go on that walk again.”
