It seems mothers across the country are making mad dashes to their nearest Waitrose desperate to get hold of a pot of ‘baby bottom butter’. However, it is not for treating their babies’ nappy rash – rather to slap on their own faces as a moisturiser. Someone somewhere, most probably after a sleepless night with a small baby, decided to apply the bottom butter to their face and no doubt after mentioning its effects at the local mother and toddler group, word spread across the nation culminating in a feature on GMTV.
Sitting in rural Dorset, I too read about the bottom butter in a national newspaper and read the glowing feedback from bottom butter users. One mother says, “I have taken to putting it on twice a day. I am 18 again.” And another adds, “I have been using it constantly for two weeks and my skin now has the smoothest texture.” Admittedly, my first reaction was to laugh at how ridiculously gullible these poor mothers were. Who on earth would resort to putting butter on their face?
A few days later, as I was reaching for my baby wipes in Waitrose, I noticed a sign beneath an empty shelf, which read, “Temporarily out of stock due to extensive media coverage.” As I continued pushing my trolley into the next aisle, it got me thinking. What if it does work, what if my crow’s feet disappeared forever, what if I could say farewell to the dark lines under my eyes? That was it. I wanted to track the bottom butter down and try it for myself.
However, my merry mass of mothers across the country had bought up every pot of the £2.49 butter, leaving the shelves utterly bare. Sales doubled to 30,000 pots in the first part of 2008 as the suppliers, based in Hampshire, were completely taken by surprise. At Waitrose Gillingham, Dry Goods Section Manager, Andy Hartstone, said, “We have had massive interest, and whilst most of the stock coming into the branch satisfied orders we had taken from customers, the remainder hit the shelf, and was sold within minutes. We expect some more stock between now and the end of May.”
But I am impatient. I launch a full-scale investigation into tracking down a pot, including checking Ebay, where they were selling for up to £30. After several phone calls and a lot of grovelling, my baby bottom butter source arrived at my door carrying two pots. The children watched as I squealed with delight chanting, “Goodbye 34, hello 18.”
This morning, I enthusiastically smeared the bottom butter over my face. It smells of vanilla, which apparently calms your baby and perhaps even the mother too. It is fairly greasy, given the olive oil it contains and is also very warm, given the film it has created across my skin. But it is completely natural and free from any artificial colours. I am excited, and as I skip into the kitchen to prepare breakfast, I feel the effects of youth re-emerging. I will keep you posted.
