Now we are six. Two deranged parents, a seven – going on seventeen – year old daughter, two testosterone fuelled boys aged six and three and our new four-month old Baby Boy.
I also have to mention the Border Terrorist and the ‘Oh so Biddable’ Black Labrador. And just to keep us busy, we have now inherited Bertie the Cockerel and his harem of hens, Hilda, Helen, Hilary and Harriet. There are also three ducks, three lambs and a few goldfish, all who are to be shortly joined by two pigs, as yet unnamed.
It was on a sunny May Bank Holiday weekend that we moved into our house and began our new more rustic life on a small farm in the centre of a bustling village. Five days later once the worst of the packing boxes were out of the way, The Baby decided it was time to make his appearance. Sadly he was not greeted by the calm sounds of whale music and there was certainly no birthing pool in sight. Instead his mother was drugged up to the eyeballs with every pain relief drug available on the planet and his father had just woken up after a nice long kip on the recovery bed beside them. After 48 hours of blissful care by the midwives at Dorchester Hospital, my brief stay was over and it was time to face reality.
I returned home to two very excited small boys who were thrilled to have another brother to join their football team and a daughter who was equally excited about the shopping trips she was promised as the only girl in the family. Meanwhile out on the farm Hilary hen was also expecting. Sadly her chick did not make it and in true postnatal form I found myself sobbing in the chicken house consoling Hilary and sharing my maternal concerns over sleepless nights with Helen, Hilda and Harriet. In those weeks I formed a special bond with my feathery friends and now regularly seek refuge in the hen house when I need to escape.
Four months on, the odd sleepless night and sterilising endless bottles are the least of my worries. The challenges facing me are only just beginning. Raising four children, weaning the Baby, rearing animals and tending to a large vegetable patch are just a flavour of things to come.
